The day we knew our family would become a family of 6

For as long as I can remember I have wanted a big family. In 2005 I knew in my heart that part of that family would include adoption. I didn’t know what it would look like, when it would happen or how but I knew God was calling me to love a child I did not carry inside of me, or as many say one that was conceived in my heart. Before Eddie and I got engaged we talked about my desire to adopt and he agreed, he joked about wanting 10 kids back then, that was before we had Kaleb. In 2007 shortly after we were married we had an opportunity to foster a child from a local orphanage but at the time we agreed we were not ready. So we waited until we both knew the timing was right and that it was God calling us onto this journey. When we found out we were moving back to South Africa a little over 1 year ago my heart skipped a beat, I have known since we got married that one day we would adopt from South Africa, now that one day is getting closer and closer.

Over the last few months Eddie and I have prayed and talked many times about adoption, what it would look like for us and if we were ready to take this on. Soon our ‘ifs’ became ‘when’ and it was settled, we would adopt. We are already falling in love with a child we have never met. She or He is already a part of our conversations, prayers and thoughts. When we rented our house we talked about where the new child would sleep and when we signed our will before leaving the USA we talked to the lawyer about our plans.

Yup we are allowing God to grow our family. I write this because even though we are just starting the long process and it could be a few years before we welcome a new child, we would like to invite our family and friends along for this journey.

The process for us will be a long one, because Eddie is a South African citizen we can do a local adoption but because I am not a South African citizen we have more hoops to jump through. There are things like showing steady income and proving that we are establishing a life in South Africa, both things that will take time. We have started with the 1^st steps for us: letting family and friends know, started an adoption fund and started on getting my status in South Africa changed. We are reading books and talking to anyone and everyone we can find who has adopted, I went to a very helpful adoption training and we have spoken to one agency so far.  Once we start the process the opportunity to travel to the USA as a family will be unlikely until the process is complete (could be up to 3-4 years) so we are praying for the opportunity to visit the states in Sept of 2016 (more details on that soon). When we are back in South Africa we will start the home study process and officially get registered as adoptive parents. We could have a new member of our family as early as Christmas of 2016 (some local adoptions take 6 weeks before the placement of a child, some are closer to one year). We know this journey is in God’s hands and His timing and we are doing our best to be patient and prayerful as we take each step.

Over the next year I will write more on the emotional journey we are on. I can tell you this, while I know in my heart that having 3 kids is a lot I also know there are thousands of kids all over the world who need a loving home. Eddie and I are not the best parents in the world but we love our kids. My heart breaks to think about children growing up not knowing what love is, not knowing what being wanted or special feels like. We know we can’t change the entire world but we know we can change at least one child’s world. Am I scared? Yes but I am also beyond excited and I have a peace that can only come from God.

Welcome to South Africa

I cannot believe we have now been in South Africa for just over 5 weeks. Time has flown bye in a blink of an eye. There is so much that I would like to tell you, so many things we have seen and been a part of, a journey like no other one before it. I’m sure as time goes by I will be more able to catch you up but right now my brain is still processing. So I am going to skip most details of our first 4 weeks and move straight into where we are now. I will say this journey has come with many obstacles, many moments of uncertainty, and many moments of overwhelming lack of control. This has been one of the most stressful moves back into missions we have ever done, mostly our fault and in hindsight I think we may have done things a tad different if we would have known the stress we were going to face. Then again I am not sure there was any way to know how things were going to unfold.


*** I am working on getting the pictures to load, we have very slow internet via Eddies phone right now but I am hoping to add them soon****

So now that the dust is starting to settle and I am starting to feel like I can do this, it’s time for an update. We knew when we moved here that the 1^st year would be one of the hardest years. Any time you move it takes time to settle, to get your feet on the ground. Missions is no different, but for us the starting of a new ministry adds a whole new dynamic. There wasn’t someone here waiting for us, ready to hand out our assignments, our kids weren’t pre enrolled in schools, we didn’t have a new home church waiting for us to arrive. Instead we arrived knowing very few people, learning how to live here as we go. We have been navigating the school system, learning how to hang curtains, buy electricity, get phone service, where to buy different items, get internet etc. It has taken a lot of patience and energy and at times felt like we were wasting time, that we were not accomplishing anything and needed to hurry up and get started with ministry.

 That’s when I met a few people here doing ministry sort of similar to what we want to do but not exactly what God has asked us to do or where he asked us to do it. In my western mindset I was ready to jump on board and at least start doing something, so I didn’t feel like I was wasting my supporters money. I was worrying about what others thought of us instead of checking in with what God wanted from us. Don’t worry, He made sure I stopped myself before I even started doing ministry just to do it, or so others would not think less of me. Yeah I know how bad that sounds, but sometimes it’s important to be honest.

After the shock wore off and I was able to just sit with God I realized why I am not meant to jump into a ministry, besides the fact that it’s not what God wants for us, but because in my humanness I decided without even realizing it, that what God called us to is hard and it would just be so much easier to plug in somewhere else. You see I am a doer, give me a task and I can do it. I am task originated in my core, don’t get me wrong I love people and I need people but sometimes I lose sight of the importance of the relationship. Building new relationships in the townships is hard, going into the community without an agenda just to learn the culture, to fall in love with the people, re learn the language (I was never very good at it before)  it’s all hard. Starting a new ministry, building contacts, finding where we fit and where God wants us, while re learning how to live in Africa this time with kids. It has been a bigger challenge then I thought it would be. Africa is relationship based, not task based and so to become an effective missionary I must learn to shift my focus from tasks to people. I can’t judge where we are based on tasks, even though that’s how my brain wants to look at our last 5 weeks, but instead based on relationships.

So here is my update: We are exactly where God wants us to be, spending time with people, opening our home to new relationships, learning to love. Last weekend I had an amazing opportunity to go to a woman’s retreat for women from the townships. I’ve never laughed or cried so hard in my life. I heard stories of struggle and of triumph, deep sorrow and hope. Woman from different areas embracing and uplifting each other. I heard stories of living in fear every day, living with AIDS, raising children as children themselves, friends murdered, rape, stabbing the list goes on. This is what life is like for most South African woman in the townships. Yet still these woman had hope, peace and love thanks to the love of Jesus. And that is the answer, without hope, without Jesus, we find ourselves overwhelmed by our situation, overwhelmed by sadness, loss and hopelessness. I have so much to learn from these woman, they possess a strength that they don’t even see. I am not here to transform communities, I’m here to bring hope to people and they will transform their communities.   

 I can’t wait until I see a few of them again in the next few weeks, one older colored lady is coming to teach me to bake traditional colored desserts and a younger woman is coming to teach me to braid Bekah’s hair. But mostly they are coming to build relationship, so I can love them and embrace the people God has called us too.

Another exciting thing coming up starting Friday is Eddie and I (and the kiddos of course) are going to be working in a youth group every Friday night!!! I am SO EXCITED!!! I feel this will be a huge opportunity for us and a big door for the future. It is in the Cape Flats, only about 10 min from where we live (the house we moved into is only about 10-15 min away from the border of the Cape Flats) and I LOVE the lady who leads it. I am excited to find ways for the WSBC (my youth group in the USA) to be involved with the group here, not sure how yet but I know it could be a blessing for BOTH groups!!

So if you made it this far (I know it was a long update) I want to say thank you for taking the time to read how we are. I would also like to thank everyone who has given to us financially either once off or on a monthly basis. God has been so faithful this far and we could not have made this move without you!! Also a HUGE thank you to everyone who has been praying for us, we have faced MANY challenges and I know it is through your prayer support that we have been able to navigate each challenge.

I would like to take this time to invite new supporters a chance to join us on this journey. South Africa is a bit more expensive than we originally thought and would love to have you join us. Below are a few areas where we still need support. It sounds like a lot, and when I wrote it out I felt a tad overwhelmed but we know our God is with us and has provided every need up until this point (inc the $1,000 in unexpected travel expenses!!). Please feel free to contact me with fundraising ideas as well or if you would like to see a copy of our budget.

Needs (above and beyond our current support level):

4 people giving $100 a month for health insurance (or $1,200 yearly)

1 person giving $50 a month for internet & 1 person giving $50 for phones (or $600 yearly)

4 people giving $50 a month for the kids schooling (here you pay for public school) ($600 yearly)

4 people giving $40 a month for housing (or $500 yearly)

4 people giving $20 a month for electricity ($240 yearly)

8 additional people giving $25 a month for food, transport & ministry items ($300 yearly)

We also have a few one-time needs:

Eddie and I need a mattress, the kids all have beds/mattresses but Eddie and I are in need of one.

A car. This is a HUGE need, not a want at this point. If you have been following any of the unrest in South Africa you know it is not safe for me and the kids not to have a car. Just last week a petrol bomb (basically a gas bomb that burns very hot and quickly) was set off on the train near us and burned 3 train cars. No one was hurt but that was very lucky. Public transport (like buses and taxis) are also not safe. We have been blessed by a friend to borrow their car but we need our own very soon.

Please feel free to share our update with anyone who is interested, thanks!!